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06 January 2007 @ 03:45 pm
This started out as a RENT Fic...with Wicked Add-ons?  
I came across this somehow...i think its considered quite bad

Title: Random Bohemians
Fandom: RENT...::sigh::
Rating: T (cursing here and there)
Favorite Quote:“You were flirting with a fucking PIGEON, Maureen,” Joanne said, her face red.



Everyone was in the loft except for Angel and Collins. They had taken a trip to Bermuda. Roger and Mimi were sitting in the loft, having a heated discussion about curly fries and if they really should be curly. Mark was filming stuff on the fire escape, and Maureen was braiding Joanne’s hair.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake, Mimi,” Roger said, frustrated, “of course curly fries should be curly! Where do you think they get their name, huh?”

“Well,” Mimi said while doing a handstand, “maybe a guy with curly hair invented them. Maybe they were straight before, then people made them curly! Ever think of it that way?”

“No,” Roger said, “but I understand and agree because I love you so much.” Then he started to play the harmonica. Mimi began to tango, and then Mark joined her.

“The tango, Maureen,” they sang.

“HEY!” Joanne screamed as Maureen strung some popcorn into her hair, “That’s my song, and my dance partner! No offense, Mimi.”

“Done, Pookie!” Maureen exclaimed. Then she jumped onto the table and started to do the cotton-eyed joe. Joanne took out a small mirror from her pocket, took one look at herself, and fainted.

“JOANNE,” Maureen screamed and rushed over to her girlfriend. She sat down beside her and began to untie all of the popcorn, pipe cleaners, markers and various cheeses from her hair. She shook Joanne awake and then they began to chant.

“Eleka nahmen, nahmen, ah tum, ah tum, elekah nahmen!” they said.

Then, a puff of purple smoke appeared. Mimi started to cough, and Roger thumped her on the back.

“Not helping!” she choked out. Roger apologized and watched the smoke. Out of it came...APRIL!!!

“HOWDY, Y’ALL!” she said loudly, then lassoed Roger.

“Oh, Hell no,” Mimi said, then took the lasso off of Roger and started to beat April up.

Mimi kept punching April in the stomach, but April just laughed. Then, eventually, Mimi started giggling as well.

“Want to be best friends?” Mimi asked April, and April nodded her head.

“We can talk about how stupid Roger can be sometimes!” April said, and she walked out of the loft with Mimi. They looked like they were in the third grade: acting silly and giggling like eight-year-olds. Roger sat down, clutching a soft pretzel.

By this time, Maureen had gotten Joanne mad. (A/N: no offense to Maureen. She was played by Idina Menzel, so she rox my sox.)

“You were flirting with a fucking PIGEON, Maureen,” Joanne said, her face red.

“He was hot,” Maureen said back, and winked at a pigeon. It flew away.

“WE WERE OVER ANYWAY!” Maureen shouted at it. Then she started to cry. Joanne went to the bathroom, and everyone heard puking noises.

Mark went outside and started serenading random people on the street. This action got him beat up by several old ladies. He came back to the loft, muttered something about the lady with the green bag and how she had a good arm, then went to bed. It was only 6:30.

Joanne had come back out of the bathroom, and went up to Maureen. Maureen looked at Joanne, and she had the I’m-sorry-Pookie look on her face. Joanne simply crossed her arms over her chest and started to lecture Maureen.

“You know, Maureen, I love you a lot. But when you’re constantly flirting with people, it really upsets me. After you do it, you always come crying back to me! Well, not anymore, Honeybe - uh - Maureen! We’re over! And I want all of your stuff out of my apartment after next week!”

With that, she stormed out of the loft. Maureen went to the couch and sat next to Roger. Roger started to cry, then Maureen called him a baby.

“My dead ex-girlfriend just came back and stole my girlfriend away from me,” Roger said in a daze.

“Oh, shut up,” Maureen snapped at him, “I just lost my girlfriend too!”

Then Joanne walked back in and apologized to Maureen. Maureen stood there with her mouth wide open.

“Let’s go to Alaska!” Joanne said, pulling out two winter jackets. Maureen went and got a sled and then they both left.

“MARK IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALONE, NOT ME!” Roger shouted to no one in particular. And with that, he turned on the TV and began to watch Spanish soap operas.




This was only chapter 1....
 
 
 
Sarah: O facetheoriginaldork on January 6th, 2007 10:18 pm (UTC)
I think i just lost most of my faith in humanity.